July 2, 2007
July 2
Did you know there’s a traveling Buffy Sing A Long show that might be coming to your city? I totally want to go. There’s going to be one in LA in September, and I’m so tempted. It’s a lot like the Rocky Horror Midnight shows, only it’s all Buffy and how cool is that? They just had one in LA and Joss Whedon and Marti Noxon showed up! Damn, I want to go!
However, I’m at home, and I’m doing a major detox thingee, which is kicking my ass. I know it’ll be worth it though. When I finally get over the feeling-like-crap-on-a-stick phase, I’ll feel great! You hear me! GREAT!
I’m also working – finishing up the anthology, revamping the new Blaze plot a bit so it’s not quite so complicated. I’m so looking forward to this one – the cast includes a movie company and I haven’t visited that part of my past in a long while.
It just feels as if I’ve had a number of lives this lifetime. The movie me is so different from the novel me. The L.A. me is miles from the Utah me, or the Texas me. I tend to get so wrapped up in the current incarnation that I don’t even think about the other lives, but when I do, I’m often surprised at how I’ve changed, the choices I’ve made and how those choices have served me. Or not served me. I think if I could go back and tell the younger me one thing it would be…
Wait
I’m not going to say. Not yet.
Let’s all play. If you could go back to any time in your past and tell you one thing, what would it be?
Post here, and I’m going to pick one commenter at random who will win a copy of Kidnapped! before it hits the shelves.
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If I could go back I would go back to when I was 17 and thought that I was a big girl and wanted to get married. Knowing what I know now I would kick myself really hard and tell myself that this will be a big mistake. I wasted alot of years and still have a few scars. Some might say that I have learned alot from that time in my life. I probably have but things like living in a car or going days without a meal are lessons that I would much rather have not been taught. That is all behind me now, everything is much better. But I always wonder what could have been.
July 2nd, 2007 at 8:12 amDon’t waste your college years dating a loser who cheats on you behind your back the whole time.
July 2nd, 2007 at 8:50 amI did a detox thingee a few weeks ago and it totally kicked me ass! Probably worth it though…I just couldn’t get past the three-day-long headache.
If I could go back, I’d probably visit my high school self and tell me to pay more attention, do my homework and play a sport. I had so little direction back then, and it would’ve been nice if someone explained the correlation between being smart in high school and student loan payments!
July 2nd, 2007 at 9:22 amI’d go back to my early 20’s and tell myself to BE myself. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not or act a certain way just because you think that’s what will attract other people. Because when it comes down to it, they will not care about YOU, they will care about the person you PRETENDED to be. You’ve got to love yourself first (just the way you are) before you can expect someone else to love you. And to think it’s only taken me 20 years and trying to explain that to my teenage daughter to figure that out for myself.
July 2nd, 2007 at 10:02 amIf I could go back, I’d tell myself not to marry the loser I did. Our divorce was final on our 2nd anniversary( worst 3 yrs of my life). I’m now happily married (12 yrs) to a great guy though.
July 2nd, 2007 at 10:07 amHey Jo. Detox? have you been ill? I hope not, and hope you feel better soon.
God, I can only go back once? So many things I could have done better, smarter.
Maybe the one most on my mind these days… I would go back and tell my early 30-something self to have taken the leap and had another baby, maybe two, with my current husband. I’d just met him at that point, and though we were head over heels, I was far too cautious from being burnt before, far too caught up in a lot of other life things, and far too apprehensive about more children, that I now wish I had. We’re looking into adopting, even though it’s becoming more commonplace for 40-somethings to have children, I’m not up for it now, and neither is he, so we’re going to adopt an older child, but still, I think I’ll always feel that little twinge regret not having had a little one with his big brown eyes… On the other hand, we’ll give a child a home who otherwise would not have had one, and that’s maybe how it was supposed to be.
Sam
July 2nd, 2007 at 10:20 amSkip the rockers. ;) That would’ve saved me a whole LOT of trouble. *ggg*
July 2nd, 2007 at 10:45 amMan, these are wonderful! Mine was pretty mundane - don’t light that first cigarette. Ha!
July 2nd, 2007 at 11:07 amDenise, boy, do I relate. I didn’t get married, but I came close. In fact, my parents asked me to move out when I was 17, and I ended up living in a weekly apartment where I was the only non-hooker. I couldn’t even pay that regularly and they kicked me out by taking off the front door! But I have to say, after getting through that, there wasn’t much that I felt I couldn’t survive.
I also wonder about what could have been, but then I think about how it’s the hard stuff that makes us who we are. You know you have a core of inner steel, right?
July 2nd, 2007 at 11:12 amCrystal! I hate that guy! I hope he got what he truly deserved!
July 2nd, 2007 at 11:12 amJulie, which detox thing did you do? I’m doing Ultra Wellness. I’ve got the headache, too.
LOL about the student loans!
July 2nd, 2007 at 11:13 amCheryl, that is such fabulous advice. I wonder if your daughter gets to just listen, or if she has to go through experiences herself in order to learn. Wouldn’t it have been something if we’d been able to personalize the wonderful advice we’d been given when we were in our early 20s?
July 2nd, 2007 at 11:14 amStacy - I hate that guy, too! But yay on your 12 years with your great guy. That makes up for a hell of a lot. :)
July 2nd, 2007 at 11:15 amSam, I’m not ill, no. Just trying to switch gears on eating crap and therefore feeling like crap. :)
Congratulations on adopting! That’s an incredible thing to do. Wow. What a great gift to the lucky child. I just wish you all the luck in the world with that. Holy cow.
July 2nd, 2007 at 11:16 amJordan, I hear you. I had both actors and musicians! EEEEeeek. Okay, so I ended up with a musician/actor/writer/sound engineer. So sue me. :)
July 2nd, 2007 at 11:17 amI’d go back to when I was 16 and have told the younger me not to get into that car in October. It would have saved many people from a lot of pain, especially me.
July 2nd, 2007 at 1:47 pmOh, Susan, that made my heart ache.
July 2nd, 2007 at 4:29 pmHey Jo, I did a juice fast. Dusted off the good old juicer and had nothing but juice for three and a half days. I wanted to go for a week but the headache was too much. The kicker was, I wasn’t even feeling hungry. I might try again in the fall. Good luck with yours!
July 2nd, 2007 at 6:18 pmI’d go back 5 years ago and tell younger me that when the guy who I really liked and possibly liked me did his little routine that one day to actually speak up and not be so shy. I still kick myself over that.
July 2nd, 2007 at 8:38 pmJust found your blog through a friend!! LOVING “Restless” BTW — just incredible.
I would tell my high school self to forget about stupid boys and make plans for my life. I’d tell my college self to check out a few more of those boys… LOL And even though I wouldn’t trade a thing now, I’m telling my girls not to get married as young as I did.
July 2nd, 2007 at 9:18 pmHi Julie,
I’ve heard juice fasts are great, but I can’t go that far. I’m weak. :) I’m feeling pretty good now, especially for day 4. Yesterday we went to DQ to get a malt for the DH and a cup of ice cream for the puppy. I wanted the whole right side of the menu. Instead, I drank water. Hmph.
July 3rd, 2007 at 8:34 amLis, that’s a romance if you just meet him again now, and say all the things you wanted to back then. ::sigh:: It’s so damn hard being young. That’s why I wouldn’t mind going back just to give a piece of advice, but I sure wouldn’t want to stay there.
July 3rd, 2007 at 8:35 amHi Sarah, and welcome. I’m so glad you’re enjoying the book!
I think that’s very good advice for anyone - especially the marrying young part. I know some people are blessed and it turns out wonderfully, but there’s so much living to do…and heaven knows I bear no resemblance to the girl I was in my early twenties.
Although doing what I did is quite lovely - meet Mr. Not Yet at 20, go off and live life, then get together with him 30 years later when he’s grown into Mr. Just Perfect. :) (Of course, I had to do a little growing up myself, but don’t tell him that).
July 3rd, 2007 at 8:39 amOh, wow. I think it would have to be taking the Way Back Machine to tell 12-year-old me that I CAN be a writer and to finish the book no matter what. If I’d finished that first gawdawful amnesia romance I started then, everything would have been different. The book sucked rocks, but the ACT of finishing a book is transforming. Since I didn’t have this conversation with myself, I finished my first book in my late 20s and spent a lot of time doubting myself in between. Self-doubt leads to myriad bad choices and wrong turns.
Good luck cleansing, Jo. I’ve done it and I’d rather be full of toxins, LOL.
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:57 amgoing to my high shchool prom.
July 3rd, 2007 at 11:19 pmI need to think about this question! I’ll get back to you.
July 4th, 2007 at 2:54 pmI think I would go back to my 16th year and explain two things to myself 1) trust your instincts! If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and evades like a duck it’s probably a cheating duck and 2) you are a worthwhile person who doesn’t need to spend all your energy making everyone but yourself happy!
July 4th, 2007 at 8:11 pmOooh this is interesting!
Hmmm . . I would say when it comes to men, never pick the first toaster off the shelf, take the time to peruse the range and browse a little before making your selection!
And it’s the tough times that makes you strong.
Hi Jo!
July 5th, 2007 at 2:26 amTo be entirely honest, there isn’t a thing I’d go back and change. I believe that the past is what shapes us and makes us who we are today. If you’re proud of that person and happy then why change anything in the past that could alter that? I’ve had plenty of heartache and hardship in the past but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. Life is like being clay in a sculptor’s hands - first the kneading process to get out all the air bubbles, then being pulled, poked and prodded, with this being removed and that being added along the way. That’s an incredibly uncomfortable process. Then, to top it off, we’re stuck in a kiln and we’re burned. But that burning makes us stronger. And all that shaping makes us beautiful. We’ll be painted and put on display for the whole world to scrutinize. Some will love us, some just like us, some will be indifferent, and others will hate us. But the Sculptor sees us as a misterpiece. So why should we care what others think? Life is a difficult process but the gift of living is the greatest journey we’ll ever have the privilege of taking. I suppose if there was one thing I’d go back to do I’d tell myself at my lowest moments to, and I quote Dolly Parton, “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”
July 6th, 2007 at 2:12 am(sorry for the no replies - for some reason, I could post but not comment!)
Charlie, I agree about finishing the book. It does change everything. And you didn’t waste any time - you were percolating!
Oh, and yeah, on the detox thing? Yeah, toxins are looking pretty great about now. :)
July 7th, 2007 at 10:42 amKim - I didn’t go to my high school prom, either. In fact, I never technically got a diploma. I just figured I’d blossom later. Of course, I’m still waiting. LOL!
July 7th, 2007 at 10:43 amTrysa! I LOVE that you came to the blog! Now I can’t wait for your return!!!
July 7th, 2007 at 10:44 amI love both of those messages Shelly. I’m still trying to assimilate them.
July 7th, 2007 at 10:44 amHi Willa!
Ha, about the toaster! I really giggled at that. And yep - the tough times count, and count a lot.
July 7th, 2007 at 10:45 amChrissi, you know I believe that, too. First, I wonder even if we did get the perfect advice at the perfect time, would we actually hear it? I think perhaps the only way to truly learn those big life lessons is to go through the experience. Second hand just doesn’t work.
I think that’s why, when it came down to it. I figured the message would be something concrete, something I don’t doubt I would have ignored, but man, it would have been great never to have lit that first smoke. What a moron I was!
July 7th, 2007 at 10:48 am