August 4, 2008
August 4
Here’s the hard part about journaling and being a professional writer: It’s so very easy to hide behind the words. I’m in grief counseling, which is a good thing, and I’ve been asked to journal about what’s happening in my brain. I’m swimming in murky, sad waters, and I do believe writing it down can be very helpful. Only I keep writing pretty words. Big words. Trying to get it just right. When I do get over myself, finally, and get to the raw parts, I’m only there for a minute, a few lines, then the wall comes back and I’m all about the writing instead of the emotion. I’ve tried listening to music. Writing at different times. Closing my eyes as I write on unlined paper. So far, not much luck. I suppose the only thing to do is to keep on doing it. Maybe I’ll shut up long enough to really say something - eventually.
Shout Out! Jo Leigh @ 1:36 pm | home life
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That makes sense to me. Writing is your profession and you always give a polished, well-written product.
August 4th, 2008 at 3:01 pmI hope knowing that we all care provides some small measure of comfort to you in your time of sadness and grief.
It’s certainly understandable. Words are such a building block of your life and it’s easy to want to hide behind those comforting words. Keep at it, you’ll get where you need to go in time. You’re learning a new skill, journaling that way. And like any skill, it takes time and practice.
Wishing you the very best in your time of loss.
August 4th, 2008 at 3:31 pmIt takes time, Jo. Go at your own pace. The words will eventually get past the writer.(((Hugs)))
August 4th, 2008 at 8:33 pmWhen we lost a very dear child that was one of my son’s best friends (and like a member of the family) it took me a long time to be able to put those words down. They were there and I knew that I had to get them out. But I couldn’t face those feelings.
Then it seemed like, for a time, that was all I could blog about.
Eventually you do get past the point of hiding behind the structure, form, and content and the true-feeling words just flow. And it does help.
When you are ready, it will happen.
Big hugs,
August 5th, 2008 at 8:53 amAngie
Oh, Jolie, I can only imagine how difficult this time is/has been for you. I am so glad you are in grief counseling, because I really believe in the value of it. Keep going, & you will find the right words, at the right time. You are in my thoughts & prayers.
Patricia
August 6th, 2008 at 9:10 amI too think that in your own time you will get past it…but it definitely will take time…even though it seems like it has been forever already it really has not…your body, mind and spirit still need to get it fully processed together…
as always BIG HUGS and know that you are in my prayers!!!
August 6th, 2008 at 11:39 amI’m surprised a writer would be asked to journal: that’s the kind of work the average person doesn’t do, and I think it’s the reason it opens new doors. (Don’t get me wrong: I think writing to express oneself is great, but given the way you have to approach writing–ANY writing–I’m not shocked it’s frustrating.)
Maybe an alternate outlet like drawing or working with clay (very cool and very tactile) to express yourself would separate the professional you from the other parts and open the doors more readily.
In any case, as many have already said: our thoughts are with you.
August 12th, 2008 at 8:12 amThank you, all of you, for your kindness and support. I appreciate it more than you can know.
August 12th, 2008 at 3:37 pm